Please not The Wiggles. Please not The Wiggles. Please not The Wiggles...
This morning I drove myself to the Park & Ride. This freed Kristin from having to bundle up Clara to drive me to the bus stop. I got in the car and, as is my custom, turned on the radio. Rather than one of our six preprogrammed radio stations, the opening bars of "You'll Be In My Heart" floated out the car speakers. Huh? Where's the chick-music that Kristin brought to the relationship or the 'moody electronica' that my coworker Holly is fond of mocking me for? What is this in my radio?
What was in my radio was Disney's Greatest, Vol. 1, our
first purchase of and entrance into the world of children's music. This is one aspect of parenthood I hadn't prepared for! I had assumed that I would just plug in my iPod and skip over the songs that were too loud or too obnoxious for our little one, that Clara would love her father's perfect taste in music. It hadn't occurred to me that my days of picking the music on the radio were over!As I mourned the passing of that innocent time, I realized that I actually had it pretty good. It's always important to remember those that have it worse off - the homeless, short people, democrats. My silver lining was the fact that the CD was not by the Wiggles. For those not in the know, The Wiggles are a group of four Australians in brightly colored shirts who sing children songs that have the uncanny ability to firmly plant themselves deep in your mind. It's sort of like a mental tapeworm. (Sadly, they have yet to discover niclosamide for the mind.) These guys have made a killing, with Business Review Weekly magazine reporting that they were Australia's highest grossing entertainers in 2005, earning more than AC/DC and Nicole Kidman combined.
My first Wiggles exposure was while watching a friend's two-year-old a few years back. He loved to listen to the four goofy guys sing "Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy" and "Cold Spaghetti, Cold Spaghetti." Oh, they annoyed me. After leaving the house that night I turned to Kristin and swore that I would never allow that stuff in my house. Give me Raffi. Give me They Might Be Giants' children's CD. Give me Disney. But save me from the fate of The Wiggles.
It's a simple request, nay a simple prayer to powers beyond my mortal domain. Say it with me now, "Please not The Wiggles. Please not The Wiggles. Please not The Wiggles..."
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Clara will love the Wiggles. She can come over to our house and listen to them sing. We can take her to the library and check out videos of the Wiggles. Wait until you see Captain Feathersword. She will love it.
Just you wait! (Can I produce a manical cackle in a comment?)
There are worse things out there than the Wiggles. We have been able to control Colter's obsessions by exposing him to music that we like--"Dr. Demento" for example. But, what is better, "Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy" or "Fish Heads"? You decide.
Josh doesn't like The Wiggles. He likes Backyardigans, Miss Spider's Sunny Patch, and Veggie Tales. He tells me to change Sponge Bob because I programed his little mind to think it is evil. :) You have a lot of power here.
I suppose you consider me to be one of the short people?
No, no, no. You control the radio.
Her father bought her a Lynyrd Skynyrd album and her mother makes her listen to Wicked.
She sings along with both.
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