Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam

For those who haven't heard, I've been teaching the Sunbeam class (3 and 4-year olds)at church since July. They can certainly be a handful, but more importantly, the things they come up with keep me in stitches half the time. Oliver and I can usually have a good fifteen minute laugh every Sunday as I recount the day's adventures. Here are a few choice exchanges from today's class:

Colter: Teacher, all of you are driving me nuts. You're distracting me and I can't steer the Heavenly Father ocean liner.
Me: Well, I think the Heavenly Father ocean liner can probably go straight by itself. Heavenly Father never goes crooked.
Aeden: (with his best 4-year-old withering look) Heavenly Father isn't an ocean liner.

The lesson today was on loving animals, and Noah was a key figure in the discussion. I brought our Little People Noah's Ark with me and let them match up all the animal pairs. Colter was very excited by this; we're close friends with his parents and he always plays with it when they stop by. After a few minutes I had them put all the animals back and put it away. Colter was NOT pleased and began the following conversation:

Colter: Thomas, I'm sorry you can't play with Sister Christensen's alligators anymore. (This was said while looking right at me - can we say someone is learning the art of manipulation?)
Thomas: That's okay, I still have real alligators at home from Christmas.

At one point we spent some time talking about our favorite animals...and the kids didn't always restrain themselves to real animals.

Thomas: I'll give you a clue about my animal. It ROARS and it's like a bee. It's a roarbee. (We then heard about the roarbees for the rest of class. This is the same kid who after singing the song "Scripture Power" proceeded to tell me about all the bad things he would kill with his sword of truth.)

I think the best one of the day came from one of the kids in the CTR 5 class. During sharing time he tends to say completely random things, so no one thought anything of it when he raised his hand to get the attention of our music leader.

Lance: Sister Bailey, don't tell anyone, but...my mom has a new baby.
Sis. Bailey: Okay Lance, I won't tell anyone.

At this point every adult in the room is doubled-over laughing and someone slipped out to give his mother a heads-up. I'm still amazed that the music leader and the pianist were able to keep going; I know I would have just stood there in hysterics.