Animal Instincts

I don't think I'm inexperienced with babies; our friends Pete & Mika have helped with that. When their twins were born I had the opportunity to feed McKenzie in the NICU when she was just a few days old. Over the past eight months I have held, burped, fed, and played with the twins ... okay more so with McKenzie. She and I have an understanding (photographic proof).

But there are things that I would never feel comfortable doing for McKenzie or any other baby. Changing diapers I feel like I'm all thumbs. Why when Kristin and I watched my nephew Caleb a few years back diaper changing his diaper was a tag team event! When McKenzie or another baby cries I am often unable to console them. There are things I can't do.

Yet over the past few days I have found myself sensing and thinking to do things for Clara that I don't hear/feel/sense/observe when around other children. I am comfortable handling her. When I change her diaper I can handle the mess. When she fusses I hold her and know that I can make her feel better.

Just as Clara has an instinct to suck when she is hungry and cry when she needs something, I have an instinct to care for my child. I can't explain the change, but it is noticeable. When I hold Clara I know that I can help her deal with whatever comes her way and protect her from this world. It is a powerful reminder that, while we are free-thinking humans, we are also blessed with some instincts just like the other animals.